I hate it

I hate that I lied to my dad
I hate that I kissed you at that moment
I hate that I didn't wait
I hate that I might have ruined something that could have been great
I hate that I probliby will keep holding on to you a while longer
I hate that I hated it.

My date

Plus sites:
He paid for my tickets
He got us good seets
He held my hand
He's looks pretty good
He's funny
He's not something else, just himself

Down sites:
He's more than 30 cm higher than me
He is a nerd
He has sweaty hands
You look better than him
He doesn't make me laugh like you do
He's not you

Why wont you look at me?

You have no idea how much it hurted me to see you walk in that door. And when she smiled, and waived at me, I hardly knew what to do. But you, you wouldn't even look at me, not there and not at the cinema. That's wat sucked the most. I thought we were friends, but you didn't even smile when you first looked at me.

I secretly hope, of course, that you're imbarresed. That you not really want that. I'm pretty sure it's not true, it's more likely that you don't like me, don't like having me around. But of course, I hope for something different, what else is there to do?

jesusfuckingchrist.

I just found out, he is the first person I've ever been myself with, all the way. Not just good sites, I've laughed with him, over stupid things, and been the "me" that I've never managed to be near anyone else.

Why the hell did you have to spend newyears eve with her?
This could have been different...

The end of 2009 was great
The start of 2010 was awesome
I should have known it wouldn't last.

Why?

I've always wanted you, and I think you know. The sight of you on your way to your girlfriend hurts as hell.
It was one person that could've made it easier. He was the first person I've had any feelings for in over a year. I was really starting to fall for him, no one has ever made me laugh like that... I hate the fact that he got a girlfriend to, just a month after you did.