Btw

Oh, by the way. I told this to the bitch of a stepmother I have. I'm not drinking again, not fucking ever! I'm going to regret this like hell in the morning. I regret it now, that's not a good sign!

Damnit!

fuckit

I miss you so unbelievable much. You haven't contacted me for sofuckinglong, and I wish you could just send that message or mail! Say that you hate me. Say that you still love me. Say that you're not going to talk to me ever again, or that you're over me, or... anything. Just contact me, please. I miss you so fucking much, and there's nothing I would like more than to send you a mail or a message. But I know you're the one who should take the first move. You're the one who doesn't want contact. I've always wanted it...

I miss summer. I miss lying in your arms and holding hands with you. It was such a egosentric thing to do, because deep down I know you liked me. But I loved lying in your arms, I feel so save there. So I just kept pretending that you didn't, so that I could keep doing it thinking that "it ment nothing". You knew I didn't like you, but it was still a bitchy thing to do from me.

I miss you. I wish you could get over me. And I hope with all my heart that when you get over me, you'll contact me. So we can be friends again.

I don't dare to think that you're over be, but now that you are, you see what a freak I am, and don't se no reason to contact me. That thought just hurts too much.

Oh, by the way

Yeah by the way, I survived that week. Ain't that just pretty fucking awesome

Yey me.

I like this

'
The old man who could barly run made it to the bus after all
The lady with a pram smiled at me
They played my favorite song
(not just at the radio, but at the square, in the middle of town!)
The man without customers was nice to me
I have cookies and candy
My friends want me out tonight
[...]
It's just one of those great days, where I can walk around in the middle of town, singing and smiling, and feel the sun at my face for the first time in months.

Today<3

Oh no

I can feel it sneaking up again.
This is going to be a bad week...

I hope I'll survive it...

Holyfuck

I actually dumped the guy!
Hm.
Didn't think I had that in me!

Good to know, though.

I felt kind of sorry for him when I did it... He had tears in he's eyes for christ sake!
But, yeah. Kind of had to do it, you know.
Can't start a relationship with a guy when there's no feelings left
from me, that is
He explained why he doesn't talk about feelings.
Sweet.
But that's not the issue, I never talk about them either.
So.
Yeah, I don't know.

Have a nice weekend.

Now that the "love" is gone

"What are we supposed to do?
After all that we've been through...
When everything that felt so right is wrong.
Now that the love is gone ?
There is nothing left to prove.
No use to deny this simple truth...
Can't find the reason to keep holding on.
Now that the love is gone."

Kind of sad, I'd hope to like this one.
Don't even like the other guy anymore, this could've worked!
But come to think of it, it's nothing for me there to like.

I hope you find yourself a girl.
One who likes cartoons,
and your clothes,
and your way of dancing,
and... Yeah, the whole thing


Don't get me wrong.
I'm not the sassy kind of girl who dumps him for that.
I love cartoons.
I've read tons of Marvels, Sandman, Preacher and so on.
I've got no style myself.
I suck at dancing.
Basicly everything you do.
But in a different kind of way than you do.

I think that's the catch.

So you think I'll come over there and hook up with you? Give you a handjob, have sex, blow you or something? It's not happening! I know you expect so, but for this time, I wont care, and I'll dissapoint you.

. I just need, once, too sleep in someones arms, wake up next to someone, feel the warmth, pretend that someone care. I know you don't, and it's almost disgusting how far I go just for this feeling.

Stop laughing behind my back, I know what you are. I just pretend not to, because you are all I've got right now. But desperate as I may be, I still know. So don't laugh at me!

Fuck you.

Uhm, okey, so...

I really hope you don't expect us to have sex tomorrow. When I say sleep, I mean sleep. I sucked the first time and it will problaby suck again.
I'm not sure what I'm doing.

I shouldn't hold on to you when I know this isn't right.

I don't know how I feel about you...

You're kind of sweet, and I really wish that was enough