I have no idea of where I'm heading

It kind of scares me. Not that I've ever known before, but now it's really bad. I don't know how or where tomorrow will end. All I have is a feeling that it'll end bad. Nothing goes as planned. /I have to stop making plans about things, they always fuck up and leave me dissapointed.
. I guess I'll just wait and see...

I'm hungover, and all the clocks in the house shows different times. hahaha!
I have a bus to catch, this will be frustrating. Hm...

Pathetic

I am the most pathetic person in history.
I fucking hate this!

I fucking hate me. Get over yourself, you ignorant fuck. You have no reason to be this fucked up, this misserable, this stupid, this pathetic. Stop blaming everyone else, see how pathetic you are, delete your blogs and get a life! It doesn't matter that nobody knows or that nobody reads this. You're making it official how pathetic you are. You've worked you're whole life building up an image, making people think you're cold as ice. Don't fucking destroy that with this. It's not worth it and you know it!

Btw

Oh, by the way. I told this to the bitch of a stepmother I have. I'm not drinking again, not fucking ever! I'm going to regret this like hell in the morning. I regret it now, that's not a good sign!

Damnit!

fuckit

I miss you so unbelievable much. You haven't contacted me for sofuckinglong, and I wish you could just send that message or mail! Say that you hate me. Say that you still love me. Say that you're not going to talk to me ever again, or that you're over me, or... anything. Just contact me, please. I miss you so fucking much, and there's nothing I would like more than to send you a mail or a message. But I know you're the one who should take the first move. You're the one who doesn't want contact. I've always wanted it...

I miss summer. I miss lying in your arms and holding hands with you. It was such a egosentric thing to do, because deep down I know you liked me. But I loved lying in your arms, I feel so save there. So I just kept pretending that you didn't, so that I could keep doing it thinking that "it ment nothing". You knew I didn't like you, but it was still a bitchy thing to do from me.

I miss you. I wish you could get over me. And I hope with all my heart that when you get over me, you'll contact me. So we can be friends again.

I don't dare to think that you're over be, but now that you are, you see what a freak I am, and don't se no reason to contact me. That thought just hurts too much.

Oh, by the way

Yeah by the way, I survived that week. Ain't that just pretty fucking awesome

Yey me.

I like this

'
The old man who could barly run made it to the bus after all
The lady with a pram smiled at me
They played my favorite song
(not just at the radio, but at the square, in the middle of town!)
The man without customers was nice to me
I have cookies and candy
My friends want me out tonight
[...]
It's just one of those great days, where I can walk around in the middle of town, singing and smiling, and feel the sun at my face for the first time in months.

Today<3